Christmas Is Pain (CHORDS) by Roy Zimmerman
[Verse 1]~
C F C
There's a turkey a gobblin' out in the yard
F G
Now he's gutted and stuffed and he's basted and charred
F C F Am G
And your father is whistlin' and washin' the blood down the drain
C
Christmas is pain
[Verse 2]~
C F C
There's a crowd on the hillside with hatchets and saws
F C
With a keen disregard for the forestry laws
F C F Am G
And they happily hum while the stumps slowly bleed in the rain
C
Christmas is pain
[Verse 3]~
C F C
And the stockings are hung by the chimney with care
F C
As if anyone in their right mind would hang 'em there
F C F Am G
And some tired old crooner is croakin' out carols again
C
Christmas is pain
[Verse 4]~
C F C
And you wait for an hour to see Santa Claus
F G
And he's covered with velveteen,.. bourbon and gauze
F C F Am G
And he pinches your mother and she can't find the words to explain
C
Christmas is pain
[Verse 5]~
C F C
And the hungry are hungering on Hunger Street
F G
While the people on Plenty Street ! ! ! eat
F C F Am G
And you punctured the roof of your mouth on a sharp candy cane
C
Christmas is pain
[Verse 6]~
C F C
And all the good cheer is just Madison Ave!!news
F G
And all the best Christmas songs were written by Jews
F C F Am G
And the eight tiny reindeer have left an embarrassing stain
C
Christmas is pain
[Verse 7]~
C F C
And two-thirds of the world doesn't give half a damn
F G
And the rest are all bloated on marshmallowed yams
F C F Am G
And if Jesus was here,.. he'd be sent to the back of the train
C
Christmas is pain
[Verse 8]~
C F C
And they double the price of whatever you need
F G
Singin',.. "I pledge allegiance to corporate greed"
F C F Am G
And you're forced to spend several hours conversing with your old Aunt Lorraine
G
who's insane
G
with a brain on a plane to Spain
G
where the main stays rainly in the flat terrain
C
Christmas is pain
C F C
There's a turkey a gobblin' out in the yard
F G
Now he's gutted and stuffed and he's basted and charred
F C F Am G
And your father is whistlin' and washin' the blood down the drain
C
Christmas is pain
[Verse 2]~
C F C
There's a crowd on the hillside with hatchets and saws
F C
With a keen disregard for the forestry laws
F C F Am G
And they happily hum while the stumps slowly bleed in the rain
C
Christmas is pain
[Verse 3]~
C F C
And the stockings are hung by the chimney with care
F C
As if anyone in their right mind would hang 'em there
F C F Am G
And some tired old crooner is croakin' out carols again
C
Christmas is pain
[Verse 4]~
C F C
And you wait for an hour to see Santa Claus
F G
And he's covered with velveteen,.. bourbon and gauze
F C F Am G
And he pinches your mother and she can't find the words to explain
C
Christmas is pain
[Verse 5]~
C F C
And the hungry are hungering on Hunger Street
F G
While the people on Plenty Street ! ! ! eat
F C F Am G
And you punctured the roof of your mouth on a sharp candy cane
C
Christmas is pain
[Verse 6]~
C F C
And all the good cheer is just Madison Ave!!news
F G
And all the best Christmas songs were written by Jews
F C F Am G
And the eight tiny reindeer have left an embarrassing stain
C
Christmas is pain
[Verse 7]~
C F C
And two-thirds of the world doesn't give half a damn
F G
And the rest are all bloated on marshmallowed yams
F C F Am G
And if Jesus was here,.. he'd be sent to the back of the train
C
Christmas is pain
[Verse 8]~
C F C
And they double the price of whatever you need
F G
Singin',.. "I pledge allegiance to corporate greed"
F C F Am G
And you're forced to spend several hours conversing with your old Aunt Lorraine
G
who's insane
G
with a brain on a plane to Spain
G
where the main stays rainly in the flat terrain
C
Christmas is pain
